feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
