I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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