UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
