she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
