I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
