bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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