it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
