oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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