I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
