Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize