Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
