...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
