It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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