Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
