She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
