what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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