All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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