I hate your face
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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