forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
