i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
