also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
