his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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