I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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