Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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