My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
