Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize