do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
