doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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