Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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