Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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