she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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