Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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