If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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