We won't sleep together?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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