We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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