well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
