but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
