Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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