you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
