Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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