He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize