We're facebook friends in real life
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
