i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize