And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
