so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
