Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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