Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I showed him my bush... on skype.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
