i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
