Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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