YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
