Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
