I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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