If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
