This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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