And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
