The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Farmville is her only friend.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
