he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
