Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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