i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
