Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
