dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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