we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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