I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
