How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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