My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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