My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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