Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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