I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
