That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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