I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love having hate sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
