strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize