I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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