she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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