At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
