Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Success! We fucked roommates!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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